Buy me Starbucks and tell me I look exceptionally well even though I’m not having a very good hair day.
I’m sending all y’all fuckers a Candy Crush request to get through this damn gate… Except you, Joe. Because last time you texted me eight times and called twice leaving messages on my voice male asking if I wanted to go see a movie with you. I don’t like you. You’re ratchet. And Jessica, damn it, Jessica. You better help me after I got you bonus in Family Fued the other day.
Me, going through my Facebook friends whom also play Candy Crush and talking to the display icons with people’s faces on them.
|Employer:||So how qualified do you think you are for the job, sir?|
|Person:||How can you tell what song it is from the first 3 seconds of sound?|
|Me:||HOW CAN YOU NOT|